By Mana Williams 7-10 Minutes
In this segment, I want to look at the period before shifting, and no I’m not referring to the procrastination stage. But the time when you say goodbye to your loved ones and social groups. Beyond the normal routine where the guard comes down for a brief moment.
Do you remember the last time you finished something?
The time you finished school, finished a course, finished a project. The few days that lead up to the end where everyone starts treating others nicely. The time when everyone thinks about your positive characteristics. Like a plant coming back to life at the beginning of spring. When the guard comes down after they realise that you both will soon be going in different directions.
Why do people do that?
It’s sad that people will loosen up after they realise that you aren’t there to judge them. That you have no ulterior motives, that you don’t mind who they are… The, just in case, precaution. Just in case he’s perverted, just in case she’s weird, just in case he’s a drug addict, just in case they won’t like me. It’s sad that people build walls so that they can feel comfortable talking to you, it shows their insecurities and anxieties. To which extent a person’s insecurity towards you can be is dependent on their ego and moderated by their trust.
You can see a person’s insecurity by how much they contrast between the last few days you spend with them versus the second week you first met them. When they feel more comfortable letting you know how they’re really feeling, when they will open up about their opinions. The final leg of a marathon, when they themselves let go of all of the baggage that they picked up when times were tougher, when it was winter. A destination mentality when they can see the end of the project. .
The sports break up of your last year as a junior, your last day at work, the end of a family reunion, the last day of school. As you’re heading back to University, overseas, to a different job in a different city, in the process of shifting, there are fewer standards and subsequently, less expectations of you.
What if that person was someone you loved?
A family member who didn’t show the same treatment towards you the entire time you were around them. The consistent nagging about organising and always keeping busy. All of a sudden you come to the stark recognition that it was all set in motion so that emotions were rarely talked about between you two. When you realise that you weren’t talking the whole time…
I guess in the process of shifting we are all so caught up in the small details that we stop to reflect on the things we could do better next, we continue to make the same errors of judgement with people who deserve our time and we fail to give it to them. As a result they feel disinclined to bring down their walls and gradually the cement sets and it becomes a chore to get them to say how they are really feeling. Only in those brief moments of transitioning do you actually see a glimpse into the crooked world of another person’s life.
Just a thought.
I accidentally deleted blog nineteen and can’t be bothered re-writing. I may do soon but stay tuned for part three of my shifting blog.
Thanks for checking in!