Blog 027 Between a Rock and a Hard Place 

By Mana Williams. 15 Minutes 

Everyone faces decisions where they can’t win everyone else’s blessing. Compromises can be made to soften the landing, but ultimately tough decisions usually don’t have winners. This chat is on a personal note. It looks into situations we can’t talk our way out of and looks at thought processes we can use to help us better weigh up our choices and make a calculated decision.

Teenage relationships are like two people riding one bike. Two fundamentally independent individuals trying hard to work as a team to do something that has direction and purpose, but most people may view them as being foolish and stupid.

Looking at it, would you change anything about your teenage crush or relationship?

Met with rocky beginnings and rough endings, I would say my teenage relationship had loads to be desired. I’m a huge believer that we are all destined to love someone and deserve it. If the afterglow of a relationship still causes you significant grief months after you’ve let them go, is it worth going back for them? I think so,  I think that maybe as a teenager you are always fighting to maintain balance and care about what other people think. Youth feel that they might not actually be aware of their problem or have the wisdom to equip themselves with the right tools to know what is and isn’t truth. If I was to go back into my previous relationship with someone who I cared about, the change would be around knowing myself better and trusting myself with the decisions I’m making as being right. Being able to sit down and be completely content without confidence anxiety. To be comfortable in me and know what needs to be said and when.

I think age and experience correlate with growth and understanding of other people’s opinions. I seem to notice each day that I become more self-aware of my shortcomings and less interested in opposing opinions.

It makes me wonder if an adult relationship is like two people riding a tandem bicycle, changing the functions of the relationship and working to make room for an extra set of cogs, roles and more room for error. The setup is more functional and because of that, it makes sense to me that an adult relationship is more mature and ultimately more balanced. It would make sense then that age and experience must bring more function to an existing relationship.

So what decisions need to be made?

As time has progressed I’ve become aware that I have some issues. It’s been interesting to find how these issues have affected my life but in particular my relationships with other people. Because I am aware of these problems in many ways it’s like discovering a kink in a hose. I’m still in the process of clearing out some of the more significant issues but my goal is to reach a stage where I can deconstruct my concerns and figure out how to be more positive and be more tenacious in my relationships.

When a relationship breakdown caused you grief and those around you hardship, what actions can you take to make sure you learn from that point of interest?

As a collective, I spent months working myself back to feeling confident enough. After a significant break up ruined my relationship and muddied the water between myself and my closest friends. It became more apparent about the various lessons that needed to be learned and recognized. When choices need to be made, I feel that it’s more important to do what makes you happy, but make sure that you are calculated prior to approach a situation.

Always fight your brain to get through to your heart.

Soppy it may be, but it’s true that nothing will make your life more challenging than the brain perceiving love when there is none. What it’s trying to say is to get to a stage where you know yourself well enough to know what honestly makes you happy, not what your brain perceives as happy. This happiness will let you grow in a way that is functional and will provide traction control for your future relationship.

What tough decision do you have to make?

When a relationship falls apart because two people who have too much going on, there are actions that can be made to restore it with the aim that maybe one day it could work again. Looking at age again and how wisdom increases over time, I feel that one day I will have the ability to be able to make those decisions for myself again. Until that day arrives, the choices put in front of me will consist of positive enforcement. Such positivity includes knowing your own self, as well as facilitating a relationship that is growing each day. Without going into too much detail, within the mentioned conversation is the decision I’m facing currently.

I will continue to write day by day and these blogs will remain a significant part of my day. I’m extremely grateful for the support given each day by readers and I will continue to write. As always…

Thanks for checking in.

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