Blog 044 Somewhere Only We Know

By Mana Williams Eade   10 Minutes

Today’s blog looks at a place of retreat. A place you and I can go whenever we feel weighed down by our day. Weighed down by something that’s happened. Weight down by other people’s baggage. Whether that’s learning about somebodies story, whether that’s learning about somebody passing away. Whenever we feel like shit we all need a place of default that we can go when we feel down and out.

Today’s chat is a bit more somber than usual. Today’s chat focuses on the positive balance that we employ every time something isn’t okay. This is not a chat about isolation, its a chat about finding peace. Finding peace enough to not doubt yourself when you’re affected by a breakdown in a relationship. A break down in a class or lecture. Or the year old expression, “meh.” Today’s chat is about searching for that place.

We all need a place to go. A place that accommodates certain emotions. A place that we don’t have other people pulling at our sleeves in an untimely fashion. A place that only we know about and can create memories. It doesn’t have to be one place either. It could be a library, or a church, or a tree, or even virtual. For me, it’s somewhere that I can go to get clarity on an issue I’m having. A place where I can worry about nothing, clear the schedule and think about one thing in particular that is weighing me down.

Screen Shot 2017-03-23 at 1.36.24 PM

A nice wee spot on Kelburn Hill.

So where do you go?

Well, I go to church. And before you try and place me into a box labelled ‘religious rhubarb’ just let me explain it to you. It’s so important to stay grounded. Grounded during assignment periods and through seasons of degrading weather. Grounded when your parents call you out for doing something stupid. Grounding is a mindset. It’s a trick that lets you stick to the bottom of the fish tank and look up without rushing around in your head juggling life.

Going to church offers that grounding. There’s a willingness to confess to one’s own stupid mistakes there, and it’s because of this willingness that an environment is created where it’s easier for me to realise how stuffed up people really are. Learning about people in their everyday lives, finding out stuff that I struggle with and being able to learn from that is a really grounding experience. In knowing that there is a place I can escape to, that can offer me peace in learning about how important it is to meditate, it allows me to have a stronger opinion and a higher self-worth.


13450207_1147012765351688_5618627264865940156_nCredit: The Street Evangelical, Christian Church.

This is not really a shameless plug to make you go to church.

It is a plea to ask that you spend 30 minutes each day in that space or mindset of groundedness just to notice the massive change and the awesome clarification created. For me, I know that it has decreased my anxiety towards things, it has given me more clarification on why people might accuse me of things when they are feeling hurt. It takes the authority away from assignments and it makes things way easier to deal with.
By taking out some time each day to visit the place the only you know, you articulate the fish tank. You articulate how things are.By taking out some time each day to visit the place the only you know, you articulate the fish tank. You articulate how things are and that can be amazingly useful.

One of my spots. Credit: Wiremu Tuhimata

In the end.

Obviously, this is from my perspective. But if people took accountability more often then there would be a point of interest that might actually be beneficial for most people. Ministers wouldn’t stuff up making policies that protect our children in care, lecturers wouldn’t forget that teaching is a conversation of understanding and not a way of expressing their dominance in knowledge, and I’d probably go a whole day without feeling awkward in a situation that didn’t need to be. Wherever your place is, make sure that it’s somewhere you can feel grounded regardless of the situation.

This is today’s chat, another wee one to have a break from posting heavy things and those days when you realise that blogging is taking priority over university study.  Other than that…

Thanks for checking in…

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