Blog 070 How Not To Be A Dick?


I guess this conversation covers family values and what that looks like for Generation Y (The Millennials) and how they are in many ways less confined by social normativity’s like getting a trade before 20, starting a family by 30, working to resolve a mortgage by 40, grandkids by 55, calling it a day by 80 or so.

You could almost look at the old traditional ways as being boring. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that theses methods were a bit outdated and old fashioned. With the advancement of technology, medical supplies are more effective so we worry less about living like our lives depend on it, and the introduction of digital social media tell us that we are entitled to all of these things. So when you take your grandpa, imagine him at your age and think to yourself and wonder if he had as much confidence at your age do you really think he would be as much of a dick as you, would he expect all of the amenities that you receive, would he be as ungrateful for the good health of family members?

In comparison to today’s generation the traditionalists of yesterday were much more grateful and a lot more disciplined in social situations. But now, kids are more accustomed to blurring those lines. Creating their own natural life-course because they are more aligned to making decisions with their emotions and, to be honest, make less of an effort using their brains. Bare in mind that I’m a nineteen-year-old, so I’m pretty much a classic example of this.

What if you took a thousand metro-sexual men from the bureaucratic streets of Central London and dropped them in the same place 50-years ago. If life would be any harder for them if some of the thousand would have been discriminated against because of their ethnic backgrounds. If the homosexuals in the group struggled to maintain their identity. Ultimately, my main interests would be if the disciplining factors of traditional times like respecting your elders, referring to parents as sir and ma’am. Being a decent human when on a date with your partner by going to their house bearing flowers. Offering to do the dishes at home, telling your family you love them without needing a prompt bi-monthly. These little signs of gratification are easily overlooked and greatly under appreciated by youth today.

Being nice to other people now is like trying to listen to music through broken headphones. The connection isn’t there anymore. Frayed, twisted and ripped apart because they weren’t maintained or looked after. We neglect relationships by showing no signs of gratification and expect to be given hand outs because we were born with privileges no generation ever before had been given. Grown up in a lazy environment and too often fail to see how much shit is going on. Taught to believe in Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy. So disillusioned by all the shit that’s going on around the world. Then when we reach adulthood we freak out and realise how “weird” everything is and notice how many feet we’re standing on each day.

People are today brought up being dick heads. Told that there is nothing they couldn’t do, given certificates for coming last in school. Then when they go out into the world flatting and begin to study at university they freak out when they get bills which can’t be paid, get average grades that they cannot erase and when their emotions are compromised by something that happened in their day they take the easy road because they lack social discipline and decide that it’s easier to shit on those closest to them like their friend’s and family. A classic example of showing minimal respect for those around them and lacking any sense of gratitude.

Last Easter weekend I came home from university, though it was a huge relief not having to be so independent all the time, having food to come home to, not worrying about turning the lights off, knowing that the dishes were always going to be done by bedtime. At first, this old reality was overwhelming, coming home to a house that was full of people who could never be replaced. Family values and a neutral environment where almost anything could be said. Even though dad can be a dick, mum’s very stressful and my sisters, well I’m not at liberty to discuss them. It ideally should always be a place where I can feel comfortable voicing my opinions.

But it wasn’t like that when I came home this Easter. It was like coming home without any pants on, something was seriously missing. I later realized that it was the emotional baggage that I’d taken on during the two months I’d spent away from. This after recalling memories from my flat where a job wasn’t done such as the dishes or an unwashed tea towel setting me off and making me think of everything that’s negative without considering how amazing my family is. Without noticing how my sister is doing at school or how my other siblings house renovations are going. That when one person would come home upset, or if a shop owner told us the shop we were looking for was three doors down and that we hadn’t enough money to shop in his establishment. Just one tiny pessimistic moment is enough to create ripples that then make waves with others. That by showing ungratefulness can easily offend others who offer to help voluntarily. Those who offer a hand can’t help but feel neglected when they are ridiculed simply because the other person is going through a tough time and feel the itch to take it out on those around them. It’s not just a millennial problem either, it’s everywhere.

My reasoning behind advocating against urbanism was born through this natural chemistry that where there is people there is drama. Drama in the form of social politics which create these barriers which we are brought up believing we are suppose to converge to. Then when we realize we’ve been ripped off by the system we turn around and try to take it out on others, who then take their problems out on others and it’s this giant shit show we all like to refer to as “society.”

Moreover, on the above issue next time but for now I think it’s best that I say the only way to stop being a dick is to realize your insecurities and doing everything in your power to get used to them, become your insecurities to the state where people see your weaknesses, try and use them against you only to find that you can still show gratitude in the face of benevolent power and your relationship is stable and untangled to the bitter end. It both sets a good example and proves that you are loyal to a fault. By showing love to those small miracles all around will provide warmth that is worth the emotional investment.


Thanks for checking in!


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